Wednesday, June 14, 2006
**** Cause & Effect ****
I guess i'm a very rigid and stone person, someone who is definitely by the book... I'm only nice to selected ppl i noe. Oh my goodness, why am i like this?! haha...no actualli im glad im this way.In the past, evryone was a friend to me until proven otherwise...Now? Evryone is a danger/stranger to me until proven otherwise. I would say my character has really changed alot since I was young, thanks to those wonderful yEaRs of mental & emo & physical torture frm thse bullies... hahahahaha. I have to thank them actually, look at the person I am now. I hv become a person who is sensitive to ppl's feelings, protective and someone who loves as passionately as i hate... ok maybe tt's not a veri gd thing, e "hate" part. But i feel evryone has flaws and im glad that I still am capable of loving so strongly.When I call someone my "friend", its smthing special to me. I noe close to 200 ppl or so? But not evry single one of them is my friend. Most are just accquitances. Being my friend, is to have earned all my respect and love, that I in turn feel compelled to treat u as a piece of me. I will give my friends my best, and nvr turn my back on them. That is my covenant to them. To hurt my friend is like hurting me as well... So just dun hurt my friends...lolx.When I put my trust in a friend, it means alot. I'm not someone who says things for fun...loLx. a "i trust u" is not just some bullshit line which I say to make someone feel better bout himself. However i'm veri particular bout being betrayed, i noe evryone is, but i'm someone who cannot condone having my trust betrayed, even if its meant in a playful manner.
Like last night, or early this morning to be exact....i made a joke... I said smthing to a FRIEND, one whom i realli like alot, to be exact. It was meant make him laugh... it was a joking thing for me to say to make him laugh, at expense of my own reputation. And he told it to someone else. Thank God, that someone else is a veri nice girl and quite close to becoming a good friend to me. I won't "strike back" at tt FRIEND, i'll forgive him, coz he's my friend and i love my friends...but i will nvr forget wat he did........"Le amicizie che forgio, non finirò mai. A meno che l'altra persona lo vuole a"
Aaahaha...why am I so emo now man... anw, Clement is coming over to play tennis or smthing later. it's like wtf lr...there'll onli be 2 of us swatting balls at each other. The real game will begin when my sis arrives and thrashes the shit out of us.... 2 on 1 also cannot win her I think. lolx...
Oh listening to Drops of Jupiter now! no connection....Maybe i'll post agaIn later... and its just 4 more days to the NCC CAMP! =)
posted @ 12:31 AM
_______________________________________________________________________
